Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Can we really have it all?

There's no question that the past year and half have been extra busy for me. The addition of graduate school on top of work and everything else has definitely been a challenge. I'm thankful everyday for a husband who has stepped up to the plate and taken over way more than his fair share of the housework, cooking, and errand running. He doesn't even flinch anymore when I text him and say, "I need a favor. Like, today."

I don't know if this is something others in our generation relate to, but I want to have IT ALL. Like, absolutely everything. A few weeks ago, the following conversation happened at our house:

Zac: You know you can't possibly do everything right?
Tara: Well I'll be damned if I don't die trying.

And I'm serious. Because I can't say no to anything, and I don't want to say no to anything. I've had fantastic opportunities in my life because I'm willing to say yes and get involved in things. I've met amazing people, learned crazy awesome things, and had unique experiences.
Someone should get me this as a mug.

And I want to keep doing all that stuff. While always having a spotlessly clean house, looking slender and put together, and throwing fancy parties with napkins that look like this.

                                             Pinned Image

I want to do it all while blogging about how creative and frugal I am. I want to have sweet little babies running around who are always well behaved and smart. I want to be around for everything important in their lives while having a meaningful and valuable career. And be the kind of mom my mom was, and make everything feel special and fun.

I want to be the kind of person who writes thank you notes in a timely fashion, and brings meals when people have sick family members or new babies. I want to have time to sew/craft/crochet/paint/decorate all of the projects I've found on Pinterest. I want to never forget a birthday, and give thoughtful gifts like Leslie Knope (any other Parks & Rec fans out there)?

I also want to read books, take walks, better my community, have enough money that I don't have to worry about money but can add central A/C to my house, and snuggle with my cute puppy (and husband!).

I get that this is an unrealistic list. A friend once told me that you truly can have it all, just not at once. She's probably right. So the question becomes - will striving to have it all give me a fulfilling life or hospitalized with a mental breakdown within weeks? But what would I give up or put on hold? I don't want or need to be perfect, but I do seem to want to cram three lives into one.

                                              Pinned Image

Thanks for listening to the madness that is my brain. And yes, this is what it's like to be me. 24/7. Or to be married to me. Zac appreciates that I'm writing this to you instead of talking about it to him, probably.

How do you balance everything? How do you choose what's the most important, and what you can give up? Does it change for you depending on the time in your life? If I can't have it all, how can I have the most all at once??


  1. Amen, sister! I found myself checking "yes" to all of the things on your list. The problem is, I have NO idea how to balance it all. I have no idea how to get all of those things to quit floating around in my head all day, every day. Sometimes I get just complacent with my day to day life and forget to interject some of those other "fun" things in. It truly is a balance and I've decided that I'm going to start making lists again in the new year. Somehow after having children, the lists have gone by the wayside. Here's to finding the magic balance in 2012! In the meantime, let me know if you find any solutions (:

  2. Yes, Yes and Yes! I think you know that I am totally in agreement about all of this. I've been having a lot of the same thoughts lately and sometimes just need to take a step back and breathe for a second and enjoy whatever is right in front of me.

    I think that maybe it isn't about learning to say no (or to stop saying yes), but to learn not to go nutso or be upset when some of the things you said yes to don't go as planned or work out the way you thought? I like the idea that you can have it all, just not at once. That may be my mantra for the next couple of months!

    Thanks for writing this. Love you!

  3. You don't know me, I'm one of the other Alpha Gam Bloggers. But I love reading your blog almost as much as I love Leslie Knope. I wrote almost this exact post about a month ago on my own blog. I'm a little older than you; I already have those (mostly) well-behaved, smart kids you're hoping for, and I have to warn you that it only gets harder to cram it all in as you add more people to your family. Still, I think there's a lot to be said for being interested in and enthusiastic about lots of things. Just try to give yourself a day off every once in a while.

  4. I couldn't agree more! I even saved that 'pick two' image. Hilarious!
    My goal is to have patience with my goals if they don't happen like I plan. :)

  5. I've been there.
    I too want it all, but I think that comes a little later in life, like say once the kids are able to start helping out around the house!
    I used to think I could have it all and then 10 weeks ago a little bundle of joy showed me that 'all' isn't all that important right now.
    My way to stay organized though involves having a strict calendar on the fridge.
    I write the menu out for the week in one color, the chores I want done each day on another color, birthdays/anniversaries in another color, and of course Bud's, Bitsy's, and my appointments and such in other colors. It helps me to see what's going on when and not to put too much on my plate!
    That's my secret :)
    Love you girlie!!!


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