The More You Know...

I learned a hard and unfortunate lesson last weekend. I thought it would be good to wash the curtains in our living room. They've been hanging for two years now, so they are probably musty and such.

Here's the thing. I don't care if someone has spilled sour milk on my curtains. I'll never, ever wash them again.

If your curtains get nasty enough that they need to be washed, save yourself the trouble and buy new ones instead.

Or at least read the instruction label before you throw them in the dryer on hot. Oops.

I'm Finished!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today I'll spend my last internship shift at the hospital. And when I walk out the door, I have completed all of the requirements for my master's degree.

I'm just letting it sink in. Because after two long, long, hard, years, it's over. It's finished. And it feels awesome!!

                                     

For the very first time in our six year relationship, Zac will work "normal" hours (no evenings or weekends) and I won't have class. What are we going to do with ourselves?? It's going to be amazing.

First, we're celebrating with a vacation. And then... everything I haven't had time for for the past 2 years! Thanks for all of your love and support during this process.

And HOORAY! I'm done!!!

Can we really have it all?

There's no question that the past year and half have been extra busy for me. The addition of graduate school on top of work and everything else has definitely been a challenge. I'm thankful everyday for a husband who has stepped up to the plate and taken over way more than his fair share of the housework, cooking, and errand running. He doesn't even flinch anymore when I text him and say, "I need a favor. Like, today."

I don't know if this is something others in our generation relate to, but I want to have IT ALL. Like, absolutely everything. A few weeks ago, the following conversation happened at our house:

Zac: You know you can't possibly do everything right?
Tara: Well I'll be damned if I don't die trying.

And I'm serious. Because I can't say no to anything, and I don't want to say no to anything. I've had fantastic opportunities in my life because I'm willing to say yes and get involved in things. I've met amazing people, learned crazy awesome things, and had unique experiences.
                                           

Someone should get me this as a mug.

And I want to keep doing all that stuff. While always having a spotlessly clean house, looking slender and put together, and throwing fancy parties with napkins that look like this.

                                             

I want to do it all while blogging about how creative and frugal I am. I want to have sweet little babies running around who are always well behaved and smart. I want to be around for everything important in their lives while having a meaningful and valuable career. And be the kind of mom my mom was, and make everything feel special and fun.

I want to be the kind of person who writes thank you notes in a timely fashion, and brings meals when people have sick family members or new babies. I want to have time to sew/craft/crochet/paint/decorate all of the projects I've found on Pinterest. I want to never forget a birthday, and give thoughtful gifts like Leslie Knope (any other Parks & Rec fans out there)?

I also want to read books, take walks, better my community, have enough money that I don't have to worry about money but can add central A/C to my house, and snuggle with my cute puppy (and husband!).

I get that this is an unrealistic list. A friend once told me that you truly can have it all, just not at once. She's probably right. So the question becomes - will striving to have it all give me a fulfilling life or hospitalized with a mental breakdown within weeks? But what would I give up or put on hold? I don't want or need to be perfect, but I do seem to want to cram three lives into one.

                                              

Thanks for listening to the madness that is my brain. And yes, this is what it's like to be me. 24/7. Or to be married to me. Zac appreciates that I'm writing this to you instead of talking about it to him, probably.

How do you balance everything? How do you choose what's the most important, and what you can give up? Does it change for you depending on the time in your life? If I can't have it all, how can I have the most all at once??

Why didn't I pay attention?

I'm hard at work planning this year's Summer Program for work.  A few days ago, I met with some incredible math teachers to get their feedback on the curriculum. These guys were incredible - they just get math in a way I"m not sure that I ever could.

As we were talking about factoring (FOIL, anyone?) and the angles of triangles, I started to feel sad that I have about zero memories from high school math. I'm not sure I could even tutor someone in Algebra. I guess it would come back to me at some point, but why didn't I pay more attention??


This happens to me even now in my grad school classes. A teacher will mention something, and I think, "I know I learned that. What the heck is that? I KNOW we learned that!"

Sigh. I'm pretty sure that if I re-took the test I aced two weeks ago tonight, I would totally bomb it. This is not good. Must. Learn. More!!!

Anyone else feel this way? Think about how brilliant we would be if we had actually paid attention to everything we've been taught and did more than short-term memorized the information for a test!!