Case in point. A pregnant friend told another friend the name of her baby the other day. Response? "Oh really? I hate that name." SERIOUSLY? This isn't your baby!!!
I was told recently that there were only two things someone would never volunteer for in our community because they were a waste of time. The two things? The things that person knows I dedicate almost all of my volunteer time to. Ouch.
This happens in the political realm as well. I have a lot of family and friends who don't share the same political views that I do - which is fine. What isn't fine is that I sometimes get bullied about mine and told they aren't okay. Why? I don't say those things to them... ever. I would never tell people that their beliefs were wrong, even though I don't agree with them. (Am I giving away my political views here??).
Everyone doesn't have to agree. In fact, it would be a really boring world if everyone did. But does that mean we have to be mean about it? Why can't we disagree with each other but still be nice about it?
I'm not the only one suffering from these feelings. Adrianna from Crafterhours shared this video a few days ago and I've been thinking about it ever since. I think we should all adopt it as our motto. Warning: it does contain mildly offensive language. Side note: if you don't read Crafterhours, start right now. You will not regret it.
So please, just be nice. If you don't like the names of my future children, you don't need to tell me. Don't share my political beliefs? It doesn't matter. Let's just agree to disagree - we can still be friends. Think that the color of my bedroom is ugly? Keep it to yourself. Don't volunteer where I do? Good - that means somewhere else gets your service time.
Next I'll be back with my sunny attitude and potentially even a project. But in the meantime... it's okay to not like things. Let's just be nice about it. Enjoy your holiday weekend!!
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I think people lack common sense when it comes to talking to their friends. They think their friend will 'understand'. I can't tell you how many people have asked me, in front of my fourth and youngest child, if he was a "happy little accident". He wasn't, but even if he had been, why would you say that, let alone where he can hear?! But because they're my friends, there's no sensor button. I like discussions about politics to see where other people are coming from - to get both view points. I don't like when it turns into a debate because the other person refuses to accept that my views are different. I just don't engage anymore. I just smile and change the subject.
ReplyDeleteLove the video.....short, sweet and to the point! I agree with a lot of what you say, Tara. What I don't like also is when people feel they have the right to be mean to other people because they have a particular religious value and use it as their podium to drum up support for their cause against the other people/person. I consider myself a deeply faithful person, but I have absolutely NO tolerance for this kind of behavior toward somebody.
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I encountered an unnecessary case of mean the other night while taking our daughter to her musical performance at a local city theater. We were unfamiliar with the organization's policy on where the performers go, and when we attempted to assist our daughter we were met with a security guard who knocked on his glass wall and screamed, "HEY! HEY! Get away from there! You're not allowed to go back there!" My husband turned around and said, "We have never been here before. Can you please be nice to us?" and the security guard continued his rant. It was ridiculous. Unfortunately, I put most of the blame on the organization for whom our daughter performs. Their communication with first-time parents of kids in the teenagers' groups is woefully lacking and has caused us more frustration this entire year than any other performing arts group in which she has participated her entire life.
You are right to ask yourself when faced with an opposing "force", "Would I do this to YOU??" That is always my go-to guide when I'm in the same situation. I also try to do my BEST to keep the other person from having to ask him/herself that about ME, too!!!!
This has been a pet peeve of mine for years now.. it's EVERYWHERE!!! I've never understood what's so hard about "agreeing to disagree", I've gotten to where I avoid many topics that seem to turn toxic nowadays easily.. and they shouldn't.. People no longer have a filter on what's appropriate communication and what's polite conversation.. I mean I have had experiences with CHILDREN who are so disrespectful to their elders it blows me away.. where do they learn that this is acceptable behavior. The generations growing up now will continue to mimick the behavior they see and hear. It's like I mentioned to an acquaintance the other day, I was at a function and this woman next to me went off like a truck driver cursing about what she disliked about the function.... don't get me wrong, I'm no prude, but why would she assume her foul language wouldn't bother me? Why would she assume I talk that way too, therefore her foul mouth was okay ? It's in every area of life it seems, from customer service, friends, acquaintances to family... It's time we get back to manners, and polite kind caring conversations... what happened to "if you haven't got anything nice to say don't say anything at all"?
ReplyDeleteOkay thanks for letting me vent! HAHAH!
Carri
simplydonewright.blogspot.com
I am so with you on this.
ReplyDeleteOnce you become a Mom or even pregnant EVERYONE wants to tell you how to and how not to be pregnant or how to and how not to raise you kids.
My daughters godmother (who is an RN and works in the maternity section) recently told me that she loved me because she can call me for breastfeeding questions, but she knows that I won't judge a Mom who opts to formula feed instead.
I feel like the most laid back person when it comes to politics and other such topics. I have my opinion, you have yours, I'll answer all the questions you have about my views and I'll listen to yours, but that doesn't mean what works for you will work for me.
I wish more people could understand that.
Thanks for sharing!
Biz