USA! USA!

I wasn't kidding when I said we had been busy --- last week Zac and I also drove up to Columbus to watch the US Men's Soccer Team play in a World Cup Qualifier against Jamaica.

It was a late night for us. I can't remember the last time I wasn't home at midnight on a weeknight, but it was worth it. Zac is a huge soccer fan, but this was my first big game.

We had GREAT seats. It was a blast - I don't think anyone in that stadium ever sat down. People were cheering and singing and jumping and just having a great time.

The US missed what felt like a hundred shots before finally scoring their first goal.

There was something extra special about cheering for the USA on the 11th anniversary of 9/11.

The US is in the red/white uniforms, and Jamaica wore yellow. The players look a bit like a "Where's Waldo" book, but I do love their jerseys.

The final score was 1-0... USA! USA!

Grateful for our choices.

Yesterday was the 93rd anniversary of women gaining the right to vote in the United States. June 4, 1919... it doesn't seem like that terribly long ago, does it?

I've been thinking about the idea of women lately, and how far we've come in such a short time. And I'm grateful. 

I'm a twenty-something young woman who has adopted all of the hobbies of my grandmother. I love to quilt, sew, and crochet. Gardening is more popular than it's ever been, people are cooking from scratch and making their own cleaning products. So many of us are embracing the ways of our grandmothers -- but because we want to, not because we have to.

That's why I'm so grateful. I'm grateful that women in our country have the opportunity to make choices. I'm grateful that my friend Biz can choose to stay at home with her sweet baby girl, not because society tells her she has to, but because it's what she and her husband decided was best for their family. I'm grateful that other friends are able to make the choice to work to support their families, because it's what they have decided is best for them. 

Is all of the mommy war / judging each other over? Not by a long shot. But hopefully we're each doing our part to support each other as women and stop the nastiness. Lord knows that women face enough difficulty in this world already without us adding onto that for each other.

So as tonight, I sit on my couch, write a blog post, think about heading to my job tomorrow that adds important financial support to our family, talk to my husband about when the right time for us to start a family is, water our garden, and crochet a blanket, I'm grateful. Grateful to the women who fought for my right to vote 93 years ago, and to make all of these choices today. Thanks, ladies. Job well done.

Such a wonderful vacation!

Zac and I snuck away last week for a vacation. We've been looking forward to it for such a long time - and it's honestly what got me through the last few months of school. This was our first anniversary / end of school celebration / last hurrah for awhile trip. At some point, we're going to start thinking about having a family and week long trips to Mexico won't be a possibility anymore. Sigh. 

We went back to the same wonderful place we visited during our honeymoon. We loved it so much the first time around and couldn't stop thinking about it after we left. 

When we arrived, it was as wonderful as we remembered. The only downside was that we weren't "discovering" all of the neat things for the first time, but it felt like we had never left from the minute we arrived.

Obviously the first thing we had to do was order room service!

The gorgeous view from our room.

I mean, seriously. This is what heaven must be like.

Self-timed pictures are so difficult... This is me posing to check the light, but it took us four nights of self-timed pictures to figure out how to get the focus right. Oops.

Heading to dinner one night

Zac really wanted to try the Indian restaurant. Not my favorite, but he loved it!

Hanging out by the pool -- with the ocean in the background!

One of Zac's favorite part last year was the flaming coffee, and he was so excited to have it again. PS - is this picture not awesome? Josh, this one is for you. No edits.

Look how happy he is! And handsome too, by the way.

Dinner our last night there.

We had the most wonderful week... it felt like we were there for such a long time. I managed to read six books by the pool, we floated along the lazy river, swam in the ocean, and drank yummy fruity drinks by the pool. And we ate - my goodness did we eat. 

It was a wonderful trip and was a great way to celebrate the end of school. It was a great bridge between the craziness that was finishing up and the wonderfulness that is now!

Strengths Part II

Yesterday I shared my experience with the Strengths Finder. It seems like a lot of you were interested, which I'm so excited about!! If you take the test, please send me your strengths (you can email me here!). I am really interested in learning more about you!


I took the test more than two years ago, and wanted Zac to take it too. He isn't really one for tests. Like, at all. I finally just bought him the book in October of last year, thinking he would take it more seriously once it was an actual possibility. And then I just gently reminded him about it pretty much every night.


So, he took it. In February. Yeah, it only took five months of nagging asking politely every day for him to do it. He's just not one for tests.


The hard part about this story is how I felt when I saw his strengths. I felt like the worst wife in the history of the world. Not only would I not have pegged some of them as his strengths, there were a few that I honestly didn't think I saw in him at all. 


I sent them to our friend Diane who is a certified strengths coach, and she was able to reassure me. She and her husband were our mentor couple during our pre-marriage work, and she said she could see all of them easily. The verdict? My nose was touching the picture frame, so I couldn't see the picture. I needed to step back and really examine our relationship and Zac's role in it to see his strengths.


There are 34 strengths total, and we don't share any of them. It's actually pretty rare to have too many in common with someone you care about. Diane (my life coach friend) and I have three, which is almost unheard of.

Here are Zac's top 5:

1. Consistency.  People who are especially talented in the Consistency theme are keenly aware of the need to treat people the same. They try to treat everyone in the world with consistency by setting up clear rules and adhering to them.
2. Adaptability.  People who are especially talented in the Adaptability theme prefer to “go with the flow.” They tend to be “now” people who take things as they come and discover the future one day at a time.
3. Maximizer.  People who are especially talented in the Maximizer theme focus on strengths as a way to stimulate personal and group excellence. They seek to transform something strong into something superb.
4. Empathy.  People who are especially talented in the Empathy theme can sense the feelings of other people by imagining themselves in others’ lives or others’ situations.
5. Harmony.  People who are especially talented in the Harmony theme look for consensus. They don’t enjoy conflict; rather, they seek areas of agreement.

I saw consistency right away - Zac is all about things being fair and equal. Adaptability was an easy one, too. He is the king of adaptability - and thank goodness, because you know that I am not. His adaptability is probably the number one reason we work as a couple. Harmony was easy for me to see, also.

What I didn't see so much? Empathy. There are so many times it seems like he doesn't understand me. Diane's explanation? I only notice the times he doesn't seem to understand me - not the millions of times everyday that he does. Also, Zac's not a big feelings talker, but that's not what empathy is. When people he loves are upset, he's genuinely bothered by it and feels what they're feeling. Just because he doesn't talk about it doesn't mean he isn't feeling it.

The other one that wasn't clear at first was maximizing, and now his maximizing is controlling my life. I don't know how I never noticed before, but he's really a perfectionist. If he can't do it perfectly, he won't do it at all. Which explains why I eat restaurant quality meals he prepares every night, the radiator cover in our bedroom is perfect (even if it took three weeks to build), and he wants to sweep the patio every single night. 

People's strengths can also be things that drive you crazy about them. Zac never wants to pick what we're having for dinner - which can be annoying. In reality, it's probably because his harmony strength is so high and he seeks to avoid conflicts. We've been able to integrate the strengths terms into our regular vocabulary, and you'll now sometimes hear us saying things like, "I'm just maximizing."

In case you can't tell, this has been a really cool experience for us. To clarify, on a scale of 1 - 10, I'm at a 52 and Zac is about a 6, but honestly, that's where we live for most things. It's a balance, and somehow, it works!

Oh, and my entire family should plan on getting this for the next gift giving occasion. Woo hoo - Christmas will be fun this year!!

My Strengths

I wrote a little bit about the StrengthsFinder here, but I didn't get into too much detail. A few of you were interested in learning more about it, so here you go....

The strengths finder test was developed by Gallup to help people uncover their talents. You buy the book (it's relatively cheap - usually $12-ish), take the online test using the code that comes with your book, and then read what your results mean.

And for me, it was life changing. That's not an exaggeration.

                                 

After you take the assessment, you receive a profile of your top 5 strengths. You only get 5, but trust me, that's enough. According to Gallup's statistics, there are only 8 other people in this world that have the same top 5 strengths in the same order as you do. Eight. And one might be a 93 year old woman, or a six month old little boy. Want to get really crazy? In the entire world, there is not one single other person who has the same 12 strengths as you do in the same order. NO ONE. As if you needed another reason to believe that everyone is here for a purpose (and the stress that comes along with finding out what that purpose is. Oh, is that just me??).

Here are my top 5 strengths with their short definition.

                                                          

1. Responsibility. People who are especially talented in the Responsibility theme take psychological ownership of what they say they will do. They are committed to stable values such as honesty and loyalty.
2. Activator. People who are especially talented in the Activator theme can make things happen by turning thoughts into action. They are often impatient.
3. Individualization. People who are especially talented in the Individualization theme are intrigued with the unique qualities of each person. They have a gift for figuring out how people who are different can work together productively.
4. Achiever. People who are especially talented in the Achiever theme have a great deal of stamina and work hard. They take great satisfaction from being busy and productive.
5. Input. People who are especially talented in the Input theme have a craving to know more. Often they like to collect and archive all kinds of information.

If you have a similar experience to me, reading this list will be very validating to you. Your strengths are likely things that you value, and also things that you assume everyone else has because you have them so strongly. 

The most amazing part is really focusing on where your strengths show up. My responsibility strength is probably why I feel so guilty if I don't blog on a regular basis. Individualization? The amount of time I put into picking out the perfect Christmas gift for everyone. Responsibility + Activator + Achiever + Input = my inability to say no to any opportunity. Ever.

Focusing on my strengths has been tremendous for my happiness, my career, my marriage, and my civic engagement. I've been able to narrow down opportunities that don't play to my strengths and focus more time and energy on things that do, which makes me happier and more productive (which makes my Achiever happy).

Most recently, the life coach I've been working with (who is a close friend of mine) helped me work through what's next for me professionally. I had applied to a PhD program to continue my social work studies on a part time basis. Would it feed my Input and Achiever needs? Absolutely. Would it be energizing to me otherwise? Probably not. Together we were able to work through that it wasn't what was best for me at this point, and the weight I felt lifted after making that decision was tremendous. 

Do I sound excited? I want you to catch my enthusiasm. Hopefully you don't think this is too hokey, and I also hope that you'll purchase the book for yourself. Oooh - Gallup, if you read this, maybe you should donate some books for everyone who wants one!! Worth a shot, right?

If you do figure out your strengths, make sure you use them. We'll talk more about that, don't worry. Tomorrow I'll fill you in on the exhausting process it was to get Zac to take the test, and how it's been really awesome to understand each other's strengths. Don't lose sleep waiting for it...

Couch to 5 K is COMPLETE!!

It's been awhile... but my Couch to 5 K challenge is officially complete! I wrote about it before here, and Derby and I did our final run to complete the program over the weekend.

We came home, and I told Zac that being finished was good news. The bad news was that now I needed to figure out what to do next!!

     

That's obviously not me. I don't live by mountains. And my sneakers are blue.

Here's the 411 of the experience:

• Overall, it's awesome. Because it's not really that hard. Don't get me wrong - it's a workout. But it isn't so awful that you give up immediately.
• I lost weight. Like, substantially. I've lost 10 pounds since Christmas, 6 of which I'll attribute to C25K (less gluten gets the other 4 probably - fewer carbs!). Not only that, but my body looks really different. None of my clothes are tight anymore, and I'm considerably less "jiggly." Win, win, my friends.
• Derby loves it. The other day our neighbors were talking to Zac on the porch, but when we walked outside Derby walked right past them to begin our run. He also knows what putting my sneakers on means. He's so smart, that puppy.
• It took me longer than the 9 weeks it's supposed to, and I'm okay with that. There were a few weeks I only managed to run twice, and a few times Zac came with us and messed up my routine. When he runs with us, we usually run half as far but twice as fast. Still counts, but doesn't fit with the program!
• Slow and steady just works for me. I don't stress out if I don't fit a run in. I don't know that I'll ever run a 5K, but I can run for 30 minutes without stopping and it's pretty easy. I'll take that.

So there you go. I conquered getting into an exercise routine. Now that I've seen the results, I'm pretty sure I'll stick with it. I like how I look 10 pounds lighter, and that I don't feel guilty one bit if I sneak some white chocolate M&Ms. In fact, it's not really sneaking. It's more like, "these are good and I can have a few (bags) without worrying about it."

Has anyone else finished the program? What did you do next? That's what I need to figure out now!!

Things worth splurging on

In our house, we live on a budget. Not a crazy, super tight, no one is allowed to have fun budget, but a budget nonetheless. Our budget has "fun money" built in to it so we can go out to dinner, buy fabric (though Zac doesn't really buy fabric - he plays golf), etc.

I think we live pretty frugally. We don't buy many things we don't need, we clip coupons for grocery shopping, and we don't buy anything we can't pay for immediately.

That. Being. Said. There are a few things in this world that I will splurge on. Where it's worth it to me to spend the money to get higher quality products. Some of these things might surprise you, and I'm sure this list is different for everyone, but here's my list of things worth splurging on.

1. Bedding.
I know that nice bedding is expensive, but to me, it's worth the cost. We are talking about something that you will spend 7-9 hours of your life wrapped up in every single day. It should feel nice, you should love it, and to me, it's worth splurging on. The upside, of course, is that nice bedding lasts longer and you'll have to replace it less often.

                                         

2. Fabric.
Quilting and sewing is my favorite hobby because it lasts forever. Honestly, if I'm going to put the time into creating something for someone else, I don't want them to eat it. Or open it and throw it away. I want it to last for a long time. If I'm going to put the effort and expense into something, I want it to last. Which is why I'm willing to splurge on quality fabric.

                                           

This is not my stash. I wish. Came from here.

3. Dog food.

Weird, right? We feed our dog this all natural organic crap that I can't believe we pay a ton of money for. But... I just don't feel right feeding him something where the main ingredient was "chicken byproducts," which is what the first food we bought said. And, the better the food, supposedly the better behaved dog you'll have. Our dog is (usually) very well behaved, but I'm not taking any chances!

4. Pots and pans.

Zac got most of our pots and pans before I ever met him, but I'm an All-Clad convert. They are crazy expensive. Ridiculously expensive. But you only ever have to buy them once. Our stainless steel pans should last us the rest of our lives. Winning.

                                     

Ours are slightly more loved and less shiny than these bad boys.

5. Clothes.

This is definitely evolving as I get older. Now, it's important to me that my clothes fit well and last a long time. I am willing to invest some money in pieces that fit well, flatter my body, and are classic additions to my wardrobe (like a great black suit). I don't spend much money on "trendy" pieces, half because I admit that I'm just not trendy, and half because they tend to fall apart after one or two wears. Now, I need to say that I still buy all of my nicer clothes on clearance or sales!

6. Our cleaning lady.

I will give up cable before I give up our fantastic cleaning lady. Yes, we pay her a lot of money, but coming home to a perfectly clean house every other week is worth every single penny. We (I - Zac doesn't really care) had to accept that we were never going to be able to keep our house as clean as we wanted to. Plus, I hate cleaning. And I'm not very good at it. But it stresses me out to have a dirty house. This money is a contribution toward both a clean house and maintaining my sanity, so worth it to us.

What items do you splurge on? Is there something that's expensive but you just can't live without? What are you not willing to cut from your budget, no matter what?

What are you thankful for?

Wait - it's not November right? Isn't Thanksgiving the time of year we're supposed to be grateful? Yes... and no!

I have a new boss at work, and she's totally and utterly fantastic. One of the changes she's bringing to our organization is a focus on mindfulness and gratitude. Mindfulness means meditation and being present in the moment, which is a big challenge for me, as you know.

                        

The newest academic research looks at gratitude as a science. I know - weird, right? But it's seriously a science. The results researchers are finding are incredible:

• When your mind is focused on gratitude and what you're thankful for, it's physically impossible to think about what's bad in your life. Impossible.
• By focusing on what they are grateful for, disadvantaged kids are able to retain more information when they study. Cool, right?
• Keeping a gratitude journal reframes your day and can reduce frustration later in the day.

Are you on board yet? You should be.

                           

I want to share some of the things I'm grateful for this week... and I want to hear some of yours!

1. A surgery for my aunt and uncle that was incredibly successful, which means many more years for my uncle!
2. An amazing new boss and a renewed energy and excitement about my work.
3. A snuggly puppy. How can I not be grateful for that?
4. A husband that I never get tired of. And who makes dinner every night. S.C.O.R.E.
5. Feeling rested and renewed after the holiday break. Planning to ride it until May.
6. Great graduate school friends who have gotten me through the past 18 months.
7. An amazing internship supervisor who cares about my professional development and makes what could have been a painful experience fantastic.
8. A warm, cozy house.
9. An interest in sewing and DIY projects. Space to do them. Time to complete them. Joy after doing so.
10. My friends and family. L-O-V-E them.
11. Blogging and the community I've found here. Every single comment you leave makes me smile, and brings little pops of joy throughout my day.
12. Sticking to my running routine long enough that I look forward to it at the end of the day now. And for a puppy who pulls me and makes me go faster.
13. My husband. I didn't think I should put the dog twice and not him! 

Just listing those things makes me smile... because it reminds me that I'm so blessed. It's hardest for me to be grateful when I'm tired and overwhelmed, which is why I keep a small journal in my purse. For emergencies. Of which I have many.

I want to know what you're grateful for. You don't need to list 13, but please tell me at least one. Because I'm grateful for hearing from you!