Grateful for our choices.

Yesterday was the 93rd anniversary of women gaining the right to vote in the United States. June 4, 1919... it doesn't seem like that terribly long ago, does it?

I've been thinking about the idea of women lately, and how far we've come in such a short time. And I'm grateful. 

I'm a twenty-something young woman who has adopted all of the hobbies of my grandmother. I love to quilt, sew, and crochet. Gardening is more popular than it's ever been, people are cooking from scratch and making their own cleaning products. So many of us are embracing the ways of our grandmothers -- but because we want to, not because we have to.

That's why I'm so grateful. I'm grateful that women in our country have the opportunity to make choices. I'm grateful that my friend Biz can choose to stay at home with her sweet baby girl, not because society tells her she has to, but because it's what she and her husband decided was best for their family. I'm grateful that other friends are able to make the choice to work to support their families, because it's what they have decided is best for them. 

Is all of the mommy war / judging each other over? Not by a long shot. But hopefully we're each doing our part to support each other as women and stop the nastiness. Lord knows that women face enough difficulty in this world already without us adding onto that for each other.

So as tonight, I sit on my couch, write a blog post, think about heading to my job tomorrow that adds important financial support to our family, talk to my husband about when the right time for us to start a family is, water our garden, and crochet a blanket, I'm grateful. Grateful to the women who fought for my right to vote 93 years ago, and to make all of these choices today. Thanks, ladies. Job well done.

It's okay to not like things...

This post is going to be a rant, and there's just no way around it. I feel like everywhere I turn, people are being just plain mean to each other. Not always intentionally, not always blatantly, but there's just so much MEAN.

Case in point. A pregnant friend told another friend the name of her baby the other day. Response? "Oh really? I hate that name." SERIOUSLY? This isn't your baby!!!

I was told recently that there were only two things someone would never volunteer for in our community because they were a waste of time. The two things? The things that person knows I dedicate almost all of my volunteer time to. Ouch.

This happens in the political realm as well. I have a lot of family and friends who don't share the same political views that I do - which is fine. What isn't fine is that I sometimes get bullied about mine and told they aren't okay. Why? I don't say those things to them... ever. I would never tell people that their beliefs were wrong, even though I don't agree with them. (Am I giving away my political views here??).

Everyone doesn't have to agree. In fact, it would be a really boring world if everyone did. But does that mean we have to be mean about it? Why can't we disagree with each other but still be nice about it?

I'm not the only one suffering from these feelings. Adrianna from Crafterhours shared this video a few days ago and I've been thinking about it ever since. I think we should all adopt it as our motto. Warning: it does contain mildly offensive language. Side note: if you don't read Crafterhours, start right now. You will not regret it.

So please, just be nice. If you don't like the names of my future children, you don't need to tell me. Don't share my political beliefs? It doesn't matter. Let's just agree to disagree - we can still be friends. Think that the color of my bedroom is ugly? Keep it to yourself. Don't volunteer where I do? Good - that means somewhere else gets your service time.

Next I'll be back with my sunny attitude and potentially even a project. But in the meantime... it's okay to not like things. Let's just be nice about it. Enjoy your holiday weekend!!

All sorts of random

I'm sort of in a funk this week. I think it stems from being really tired - Zac's brother and sister-in-law are finally home from their trip around the world (yay!) but their flight was delayed until 3:00 AM on Sunday so I'm just exhausted (boo!). I haven't been in the mood to do much creating lately, and some of my pictures are on my home computer, and others are on my work computer, and blah blah. Huge problems, I know.

What I have been in the mood for is some organizing and purging. We did a completely overhaul of our guest room on Sunday - which was good since Josh and Steph ended up needing it in the middle of the night! We took an entire car load of stuff to Goodwill and rearranged the room to be a bit more functional. I didn't take pictures for you - this is all temporary as we have bigger plans for that space, but other things need to come first.

We also pooled together the last of our wedding gift cards to buy this beauty:

It's from Crate and Barrell. I had to accept that we're never going to get around to building one. It's gorgeous though, and it was pretty affordable. The chairs? Not so much (at $200 a pop). We are either going to buy unfinished chairs pre-made for $79 a piece, or try to garage sale some un-matching ones and re-finish them to match the table. Does anyone know the secret to making that look classy and chic and not just a hot mess? Something like this but a little less funky?

Or maybe the key is to add some fabric and color?

The table is back ordered until June, so we have some time to decide. We do need to get that room painted before it arrives though!

Other randomness based on the cell phone pictures I've taken recently:

Cincinnati has a new park downtown with these color lights and water features. I can't wait to take our good camera to get real pictures!

I have been crocheting up a storm and I don't know why. I'm hooked... pun intended! I got some sweet baby yarn on sale at JoAnn's and bought it without a project in mind. I ended up making a baby blanket. I'm just about finished, so you'll get pictures soon.

Sorry for the random brain dump. Unfortunately, this is what it's like to be in my head this week!!

Being a grown up is... kind of awesome??

I had a Twitter conversation the other day with my cousin that accidentally got me thinking. I say accidentally because my brain runs so fast that I generally don't seek out additional things to wonder/worry about!

It started with me telling Abby how beautiful she looked in a new picture and that I can't believe how grown up she is. This beautiful cousin of mine is a senior in high school, auditioning for colleges where she can major in voice. She rocks.

She responded and said, "Thanks! Growing up is so much fun!"

Hmmmm. I'm not sure that's exactly how I would have put it. Growing up is so stressful? Sure. Annoying? Maybe. But fun? Really?

That's when I started thinking about it.... and the more I thought about it, the more I realized Abby is right (which means in addition to being beautiful and talented, she's also wise!). It's fun to have a house to decorate and make our own. It's fun to have a dog who knows I'm his mom and wants to snuggle with me more than anyone else. It's fun to have a job and actual money and a husband and all that stuff.

Sure, there's some stress and anxiety that goes along with it, but I really feel like I'm more myself at this point in my life than I've ever felt before. Being a teenager never really suited me. Same for college student. Don't get me wrong - I loved college (won't say the same about high school), but not as much as I love my life right now.

Do you feel like you're really "coming into your own" as you get older, or are you nostalgic for a time in your life that was just the best for you? Will I feel this way during every age now that I'm older, or am I just meant to be in my 20s?

Our Twitter conversation ended with me saying, "I think it's probably fun until you hit about 36, right??" to which Abby responded, "What?!? 36 is so young!!!"

And you know what? She's totally right.

Random Thoughts of a Crazy Woman

My thoughts have been pretty random lately. None of these in and of themselves merit a full post, but hopefully they'll at least be entertaining.

1. What is the difference between macaroons and whoopie pies? Is this an important distinction I need to know about to be a real grown up?
2. I got a serger. More on this later. But can someone come to my house and show me how to use it? It's overwhelming to figure it out.
3. My dog is so freaking cute that I can't stand it. But our next dog will be a non-shedding type, no matter how many thousands of dollars it costs.
4. I cannot hold any more babies before we are ready to have our own, because they are making me crazy.
5. My hair dresser styles my hair SO much better than I do. I wish I had her talents. Or a million dollars to pay her to do my hair every morning.
6. Am I the only State of the Union watching junkie out there? I don't care who the President is, there's something so regal and awesome about the whole event.
7. My new boss is awesome, and I'm learning so much from her.

That's it for now. I think. It's been a random kind of week. What random thing are you thinking about this week?

A few words of wedding advice

I read this post the other day over at Nice Girl Notes, and I've been thinking about it ever since. Like Roo, my Facebook newsfeed also seems to be flooded with people who are recently engaged (congrats, everyone!). And like Roo, I have some words of advice for people embarking on the wedding planning process.

Because I've been married for nine months. Which makes me an expert.

Without further ado, my additions to Roo's "Dear Brides, Don't Do This" list:

                                 


Don't feel like you need to have everything. Or that everything has to be expensive. Spend money on what matters to you, and scratch the rest. We didn't have favors at our wedding (curious - did anyone who was there notice?), because we didn't care about them. We sat down at the beginning of the planning process and talked about what we wanted most from our wedding, and that was for everyone to have a blast. We wanted people to leave our wedding saying, "That was SUCH a fun wedding!" Favors do not make people say that. A kickass band makes people say that. So that's where we spent our money. And because of that, we have pictures like this:

                             

Don't be jealous of my sweet dance moves. Or my sexy dancing face. You too, can have that.

I LOVE this picture. Note my father in law over my shoulder looking possessed.

Yeah, we're that fun.

A video is worth the money. So are great pictures, but a video is super worth it. There are some things a video can capture that pictures just can't. I saw my not-very-emotional husband cry for the first time ever during our vows. It was one of the best moments of my entire life, and I can watch it as many times as I want. I can hear my dad's toast, see our faces when we first saw each other, and feel that day every time I watch it. I don't watch it often, but it's amazing how it brings you back to that day when you do. My cousin Megan was the first one to get married. When my other cousins were little, one of their favorite "movies" was Megan's wedding video. That's just a cute side note.

To watch the two minute preview of our wedding video, click here! I can't figure out how to embed it.

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=1825020558927&set=vb.114373668610239&type=2&theater

Think about what you HATE at other people's weddings... and then DON'T DO THAT STUFF! This should go without saying, but apparently it often doesn't. Things I don't like? Having a huge break between the ceremony and reception with nothing to do. Where all you want to do is take off your dumb dress clothes and your college friends are likely to park it at a bar and drink too much. So we didn't do that. I also don't like when the reception feels like a performance - look here! The bride and groom are doing this! And now this! Look over here! So we skipped a bunch of that stuff. I don't think anyone noticed or cared that I didn't throw a bouquet (except my single friends, who were likely thankful). 

If you love this stuff, do it! If you don't, cut it. No one but your mother and token snobby relative (everyone has one, right?) will notice or care.

It's okay if you don't enjoy every single thing about planning your wedding. I think I only enjoyed about 5 of the billions of things we did. It was stressful. And time consuming. I was more interested in getting married than planning a giant party. So when the florist wanted input on flowers, I said, "I like tulips, and I think pink is nice. Oh - I would like the arrangements to be pretty." And that's it. And they were very pretty. 

The 20% rule holds true. My godmother told me this was true at all three of her daughter's weddings, and I'll be darned if it wasn't exactly true at mine too. Plan accordingly. And don't be upset when the 20% who doesn't come includes people you care about and the 80% who do come includes random people your parents make you invite that you don't know or care about. 

I don't care what Peggy Post says, you do NOT get a year to write thank you notes. This irks me to no end. If people cared enough to travel to your wedding and give you a gift, the least you can do is write a timely (and thoughtful) thank you note. I think you get three months, tops, before you're just a jerk. Don't thank people for coming who didn't come (my in-laws got that note once), or just say "thanks for the gift" leaving people to wonder if you even got it. You're a married adult now - write decent thank you notes.

Everyone knows who you are, even if you don't know them. You will inevitably have to invite your future mother-in-law's random friend you've never met, or your dad's second cousin. You won't know who they are, but they'll know who you are - because you're the one wearing that bride dress. Act like you know them and you're glad they came. If you're really smart, have your maid of honor figure out who all these people are ahead of time so she can whisper it in your ear. You'll feel important, like the president. I assume he has those kinds of people to tell him that stuff.

Enjoy every second of your wedding day, because you only get it once. We had a few opportunities to do this, and I'm so glad we did. During our ceremony, our pastor asked us to turn around and take in the faces of those who loved us and were there supporting us. It was overwhelming and amazing, and I'm tearing up just thinking about it right now. During our reception we stopped to take it all in too, and I'm so glad we did. I can close my eyes and picture it right now, and I can feel exactly how I felt - so happy that I thought I might burst. It also hit me like a ton of bricks that all of these people would never be together in the same room again. Our wedding day didn't feel like it rushed by, and I think it's because we took time to step back and just appreciate everything that was happening around us.

It already feels like planning our wedding was a lifetime ago. Do you have any advice to add to my list? Were you given any advice during your wedding planning process that was particularly helpful?

Can we really have it all?

There's no question that the past year and half have been extra busy for me. The addition of graduate school on top of work and everything else has definitely been a challenge. I'm thankful everyday for a husband who has stepped up to the plate and taken over way more than his fair share of the housework, cooking, and errand running. He doesn't even flinch anymore when I text him and say, "I need a favor. Like, today."

I don't know if this is something others in our generation relate to, but I want to have IT ALL. Like, absolutely everything. A few weeks ago, the following conversation happened at our house:

Zac: You know you can't possibly do everything right?
Tara: Well I'll be damned if I don't die trying.

And I'm serious. Because I can't say no to anything, and I don't want to say no to anything. I've had fantastic opportunities in my life because I'm willing to say yes and get involved in things. I've met amazing people, learned crazy awesome things, and had unique experiences.
                                           

Someone should get me this as a mug.

And I want to keep doing all that stuff. While always having a spotlessly clean house, looking slender and put together, and throwing fancy parties with napkins that look like this.

                                             

I want to do it all while blogging about how creative and frugal I am. I want to have sweet little babies running around who are always well behaved and smart. I want to be around for everything important in their lives while having a meaningful and valuable career. And be the kind of mom my mom was, and make everything feel special and fun.

I want to be the kind of person who writes thank you notes in a timely fashion, and brings meals when people have sick family members or new babies. I want to have time to sew/craft/crochet/paint/decorate all of the projects I've found on Pinterest. I want to never forget a birthday, and give thoughtful gifts like Leslie Knope (any other Parks & Rec fans out there)?

I also want to read books, take walks, better my community, have enough money that I don't have to worry about money but can add central A/C to my house, and snuggle with my cute puppy (and husband!).

I get that this is an unrealistic list. A friend once told me that you truly can have it all, just not at once. She's probably right. So the question becomes - will striving to have it all give me a fulfilling life or hospitalized with a mental breakdown within weeks? But what would I give up or put on hold? I don't want or need to be perfect, but I do seem to want to cram three lives into one.

                                              

Thanks for listening to the madness that is my brain. And yes, this is what it's like to be me. 24/7. Or to be married to me. Zac appreciates that I'm writing this to you instead of talking about it to him, probably.

How do you balance everything? How do you choose what's the most important, and what you can give up? Does it change for you depending on the time in your life? If I can't have it all, how can I have the most all at once??

Never Too Busy

I took a course in college where we studied the abstract concept of time, and ever since then, I'm been fascinated by time and schedules. Most of all, I'm fascinated by the concept of being "busy."

No matter how much you have going on, you're probably busy. I'm in school, working and planning a wedding. I'm busy. But so is my younger sister who is in college. So is my neighbor who works part-time. So is my grandmother who is retired.

Everyone is busy. None of us have enough time to do everything that we want to do. I get that. Today though, I stumbled upon this quote and I felt like I had been smacked in the face:

“Don’t say you don’t have enough time. You have exactly the same number of hours per day that were given to Helen Keller, Louis Pasteur, Michelangelo, Mother Teresa, Leonardo da Vinci, Thomas Jefferson and Albert Einstein.”

                                                                                                - H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Wow. So I guess the question is... what am I doing with that time??

Some random stuff

1. I had my first wedding dress fitting on Sunday. She has like 8 cats. I trust her implicitly and can't figure out why?
2. I am taking a new medicine and I think it's giving me weird dreams. I say I think because I can't really remember them, I can just remember that I had them. Ugh.
3. School started again this week. Bleh.
4. The fact that Sarah Jessica Parker does the voice for the Nook commercial totally validates my choice of a Nook over a Kindle.
5. We might get another snow day tomorrow!
6. I love the radiator heat in our house but my feet are constantly freezing because the floors are too cold. I have two pairs of slippers - one slightly too big, and one slightly too small.
7. Yeah, this is what it's like to be in my head for 2 minutes.

About all this "grown-up" stuff

Over the past few months, it's hit me hard - I'm a grown-up. I don't know when it really started, and while it seems to have been gradual, lately it feels like it's hit me like an ice cream truck. That's my favorite analogy - because it's all good stuff but it still hurts!

Was it when we decided to get married? Sitting on the floor of my sewing room tonight, I'm looking around wondering if it has something to do with this house? Was it going back to school or something at work? Was it watching my sisters get older, or my friends start to move away?

  

                                                          When did I go from this... to this... to this?

All I know is that somehow, things are different. I walked up to my friend Katie's door today and thought, "Wow, her liriope are just goregous!" I'm decorating my house for the seasons, the way my mom does. I'm opting for clothes that are more practical and makeup that stays on all day. I'm noticing things that I never noticed before, like why you close the blinds when you're changing and it's dark outside. I want to know what cleaning product my friend Ashley uses to make her house smell so good.

When did we start talking about having kids like it will actually happen (relatively) soon? When did we hang paint samples on the living room wall to choose between fourteen shades of WHITE? When did we figure out there was more than one shade of white to begin with?

I'm totally freaked out, and at the same time, I feel more comfortable than I have ever been before. All I know is that this grown-up stuff is totally crazy.

And that I love it.

If everyone just did their jobs...

This is definitely a rant, but I haven't done one of those in awhile so I feel like it's ok. You've been forewarned.

Why is it so much to ask that people do what they are supposed to do at work? I have a job, and I don't really have a lot of leeway. I get my work done, or I probably wouldn't have a job anymore.

The back story of what stirred up this rant: Since we moved to our new house, I have called the post office 3 times (in less than 2 months!) because our mail doesn't get picked up.

Here's a picture of our mailbox, in case you can't remember the set-up:

See it, there to the right of Zac's arm?

The first time I was told that legally, mail carriers don't have to pick up your mail if they don't have anything to drop off for you. SERIOUSLY.

More importantly, this week, I put mail in the box on Tuesday, came home, and the mail that was delivered was just shoved on top of the letters to be picked up.  Try it again on Wednesday - same result.  I called the post office today to complain and the lady said:

"You need to arrange the mail so that it sticks out of the mailbox. Your mail carrier probably isn't going to check if there's mail in the box."

Oh - I'm sorry. I mistakenly assumed that it was the mail carrier's JOB to get mail out of my box, and put mail into my box (among other things, of course).  How is this ok??

Disclaimer: I am very pro-USPS and use them almost exclusively for all of my shipping needs. So maybe this is me having my feelings hurt at them being sucky.  But if it happens again today, I'm calling the Post Master.